Have you fallen for the self belief myth?

Are you or someone you know falling for this myth?

The myth of self belief…

Many of my clients are under the impression that the thing in their way is a lack of self belief or confidence. Sometimes it’s this very idea itself that is the thing that is in the way.

They think all their problems will be solved if they just believe more. Believe harder. Feel confident.

A lot of them are trying so hard, are taking a lot of steps… but they’re not necessarily landing on the steps they need yet.

Often what is actually happening is they don’t know what they don’t know and they’re just trying to figure it all out, but haven’t got enough experience to make sense of why what they’re doing isn’t working yet or what they need to do differently.

They’re working on their business, but they have no business model, or the business model is flawed or out of alignment with who they are and who they are willing to be.

They have business coaches telling them they’re not succeeding yet because they’re not trying hard enough or doing enough or believing in themselves, who just tell them to “believe in yourself” and “do better” (a good coach and mentor will investigate with you and attempt to uncover where things are going wrong for you).

They’re showing up on social media and following all the advice they’ve been given but they haven’t yet learned about how to communicate well and don’t understand why their posts and offers aren’t landing.

And here’s the thing… No amount of self belief is gonna help you if the thing in your way is you’re missing the skills and expertise you need to get where you’re going.

You can believe all you want, but if your methods are flawed, you will not force them through sheer will.

You can not force broken, flawed strategies to work through self belief. 

I train and coach and mentor loads of successful people every week and they all doubt themselves at times and feel insecure. ALL.OF.THEM.

Self belief is not a prerequisite for success.

You don’t need to believe in yourself or feel confident in order to act.

You just have to not doubt yourself to the extent that you don’t take action. As long as you keep going, even if you drag your insecurities with you, it’s not really a part of the success formula. Sort out your insecurities and inner game or crap your pants the whole way to the top if you want, just don’t chicken out completely and you’ll be right.

The only time self belief is relevant is when you’re so sure you can’t do something or something is not possible for you or meant for you and you let that idea stop you from taking action.

What is essential is figuring things out, having the right strategies. Surrounding yourself with the right people who know the things you need to know to get where you going. Some people get lucky with finding the right people, (I did) some don’t. It’s more about trial and error, time, energy, money and learning from successes and mistakes.

A lot of people get confused when they have been sold a flawed strategy for success or haven’t been given the whole picture and when it doesn’t work, think there is something wrong with them, not the strategy. And I get it, because we do have to take responsibility for the results we’re getting.

It’s not your self belief. It’s the actions you’re taking and not taking. It’s the actions you don’t even know you could be taking. It’s the gaps in your learning. It’s the people missing from your life.

Stop trying to believe and start seeking the right people to learn from.

With warmth,

Amy

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I’m Amy Bell, NLP Trainer & Coach.

For close to a decade I have been exploring, learning and experimenting with NLP. I’ve trained extensively in both Australia and Europe with some of the worlds most acclaimed NLP Trainers.

I’m both intensely curious, and obsessive about my own ongoing development, the creation and delivery of my work and the results I get for my people. 

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