Have you got self improvement burnout?

Obsessively trying to “fix” yourself?

Self improvement is valuable and often necessary if you wanna get to somewhere good. But if you’re obsessively trying to change or fix yourself to fill some sort of perceived inner void, and shape yourself into the ultimate human being so that you will be worthy of the love, time and attention of others, that’s the first illusion you need to face.

You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. Nobody is. nobody does.

You are not your behaviours.

Who you are, at your core, is actually unchanging. Whether you’re choosing behaviours you judge as good or behaviours you judge as bad. “You” and your true essence, is actually always the same.

If the way you’re approaching self inquiry is leading to greater disconnection, less wholeness… stop. It’s likely you’re trying to use improvement to fill you up.

It’s a sneaky trick that can look like you’re approaching change from the inside-out, but it’s actually still an outside – in approach.

If I can just fix these things THEN I’ll feel whole. If I can just change these things THEN others will see me as AMAZING and I will be worthy of connection with them.

It’s still seeking wholeness externally.

Babe, you’re already whole.

Telltale signs you might need a self improvement holiday where you can be unapologetically whatever:

# You feel attached to external opinions and feel desperate to know what others think about you, what you’re good at, what you should do etc.

# You don’t know how you feel (suppressing shame)

# You are out of touch with your own inner knowing/congruency signals

# You’re trying to change multiple things about yourself all at once

# You judge the things you do as good or bad or not enough and make that mean you are either good or bad or not enough

# You keep trying to improve so people will like you more

# Your identity is tied to what you do and how well you’re doing in life

# You don’t feel good about yourself

Quit trying so hard.

Stop desperately seeking and doing your head in asking so many questions… until you can return to your curious nature in a relaxed way

Lose yourself in being, the way you might on a holiday.

What would you do if it didn’t mean anything about you? If no one would ever know or care how you spent your days?

Pay attention to the feedback within you as you do this.

Follow the path of aliveness… all the way back home.

With warmth,

Amy

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I’m Amy Bell, NLP Trainer & Coach.

For close to a decade I have been exploring, learning and experimenting with NLP. I’ve trained extensively in both Australia and Europe with some of the worlds most acclaimed NLP Trainers.

I’m both intensely curious, and obsessive about my own ongoing development, the creation and delivery of my work and the results I get for my people. 

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