Lacking confidence as a coach

If you’re a coach of any kind, you need to know about the biggest thing that keeps coaches from developing the confidence and level of growth and mastery they seek.

Many coaches, especially new coaches, but even experienced coaches, struggle with what they describe as “lacking confidence”. Despite whatever techniques and tools they’ve collected in their coaching toolbox, many coaches feel overwhelmed, uncertain and confused about what technique to use when, and what to do when a technique doesn’t seem to work.

There are two things coaches get wrong here.

#1: What do most coaches in this situation do? They fear they don’t know enough techniques, or have a enough tools. They panic and seek a way out of their discomfort in the form of fast, easy solutions. They reach out for another ‘magic’ technique to save them. This is like wanting to learn to swim while clinging to the edge of the pool. The edge of the pool doesn’t give you the confidence to swim. It keeps you exactly where you already are.

What this situation is really demanding is more advanced thinking and choices.

What new coaches need in order to develop confidence and skill, is to transcend scripted techniques to a deeper understanding of the principles and structures of change, systems and complexity.

Change work is complex. You can’t meet complexity with simplicity, which is what scripted techniques are attempting to do.

The problem with quick fixes is…

“For every complex problem there is a solution that is clear, simple and wrong” H. L. Mencken | Journalist

We’re geared to seek ease and simplicity and to avoid discomfort. And that’s exactly what keeps us stuck. Habitually reaching for solutions that give us the illusion of safety.

Who is actually safer? The person who hasn’t learned to swim who needs to cling to the edge of the pool? Or the strong, confident swimmer?

If you’ve ever wondered about the differences between my NLP courses and most of the shorter courses around, this is a huge part of it. It takes a little longer up front to learn at a higher level and to develop the kind of depth of understanding that results in accelerated, exponential growth and creativity long term. Where you don’t need to be weighed down by a clunky manual, where you don’t need scripted techniques that keep you stuck as an eternal novice. You can let go with confidence, because you can think for yourself from a place of higher level thinking.

And with a deep understanding of the principles of change, that means you can design your own processes and solutions effortlessly, in real time, on the fly, responding to the patterns and deeper structures of the problems your clients are experiencing.

In short, you can swim.

#2: The other thing SO many coaches get wrong is they think the magic is IN the scripted technique. 

But the real magic doesn’t lie in scripted words, the real magic is in YOU. And it’s also in THEM. And it’s arising in the space between you. 

It’s not about following a rigid set of steps, but dropping into that deep, magical space, together.

Drop in… learn to swim.

With love and warmth,


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I’m Amy Bell, NLP Trainer & Coach.

For close to a decade I have been exploring, learning and experimenting with NLP. I’ve trained extensively in both Australia and Europe with some of the worlds most acclaimed NLP Trainers.

I’m both intensely curious, and obsessive about my own ongoing development, the creation and delivery of my work and the results I get for my people. 

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