Why your clients aren’t changing

One of the questions I’m asked often early on in my courses is what to do with challenging, difficult, resistant clients who just aren’t changing…

So lets do some Troubleshooting 101

So straight up… if that’s the way you’re thinking of them and relating with them… you’re screwed from the get go. 

Relating with them that way will not expand possibilities or help you to respond with the flexiblity and creativity that you need.

There is no such thing as a resistant, difficult client. There are complex challenges. But not resistant clients.

If you’re coaching a client and they’re just not shifting, what or who needs to change?

Are you creating fertile ground for you and your client to dance in expanding possibilities together?

Are you in rapport? (Not do you like each other but rather are you synced at a deep nervous system level)

Are you in a resourceful state?

Are they in a resourceful state?

Do they have a well formed outcome that is within your wheelhouse?

Expand your sense of where there might be stuckness.

If they are showing up in the same way over and over and not shifting, you probably are too. You are always part of the pattern that is driving and guiding and shaping their behaviour.

Are you modelling what you want to see and hear in them FOR them? If you want them to be more flexible, how are you demonstrating that within you and the way you are relating with them and the problem or outcome? If you want them to approach things with more creativity, how are you demonstrating that?

Is there stuckness in the way you are communicating? When you speak, what are you making possible? What are you closing down as possibilities?

What frames and agreements are you setting?

Are you attempting to make too big a leap?

Do you need to build stepping stones?

Do you need to make it safe to explore difference and change?

If you’re facilitating a transformational process, what are the principles involved that make that process work? How well are you meeting those principles in your facilitation? 

These questions should reveal opportunities for you to experiment with approaching things differently with them.

With warmth,


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I’m Amy Bell, NLP Trainer & Coach.

For close to a decade I have been exploring, learning and experimenting with NLP. I’ve trained extensively in both Australia and Europe with some of the worlds most acclaimed NLP Trainers.

I’m both intensely curious, and obsessive about my own ongoing development, the creation and delivery of my work and the results I get for my people. 

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